Dear Members...

I am writing for advice and support for my wonderful husband (although he does not know it) as it has occurred to me that, although I may be the one in pain and suffering from this wretched disease, he is my mountain of support and I am afraid I am not helping him help me!

At present I am going through yet another major flare up (worse than the others actually) and although I am seeking and obtaining the usual medical support - I have to say that if it wasn't for my wonderful man, life at present would be unbearable.

However, recently he has become unhappy (very unusual for a smile like a sunbeam) and I have seen despair in his eyes and have also heard mutterings about wheel chairs and stair lifts.

Now I know, or I am sure, from 30 years experience of this disease, that this flare up is just another 'blip' (albeit longer than usual) but I am finding it very hard to convince him that everything is going to be ok.

He is one of kindest men you could ever meet and I don't want him to suffer so much on my behalf, so can anyone help me to help him through this I would be very, very grateful.

With very best wishes...

Ellie

hi Ellie,

yes our Partners / Hubbies go through this with us i know mine is a fantastic support and my soulmate after 38 years wed.

i know i am in a different place to you having been fairly recently diagnosed as opposed to you having RA for 30 years,

but i must say we both went along to an NRAS Meeting at my Hospital and it really helped us both.

i still don't know all the in's and out's of this condition let alone my Hubby and have to say i was proud of him as he asked questions in the questions and answers part and also spoke to fellow Members and i know he came out armed with more information than he went in ( as did i ) and i think he felt more involved than just having what my limited knowledge tells him.

he also will come along with me to meetings hopefully as we are trying to set up a local meet every month or two.

i also said to him would he buy me an NRAS wrist band as i had no change with me and he came back with two which i thought was one for me and a spare ... and i noticed a few days later he went off to work wearing it which i found touching so i know he was thinking of me.

maybe you could contact NRAS and ask if there is any meetings due near you as i know you have only just joined the Forum and once you involve yourself with others in the same position you don't feel so isolated as perhaps he is worrying about you.

they can also put you in in touch with an NRAS Co-Ordinator i think if a meeting isn't due near you.

sorry i can't be of more help but thought i'd post my experience.

hope your flare doesn't last long for you,

Suzanne x

Thank you all very much for your kind and warm responses. I'm sorry I have taken so long to reply but the fingers were too painful for typing.

Your help and advice was so uplifting (made me cry - but felt better afterwards) and I am going to contact NRAS to find out about any meetings we may be able to attend in the future.

I'm delighted to report that, after seeing my Specialist Nurse on Friday and receiving a bumper steroid injection, I woke up this morning virtually pain free after all these weeks - what a feeling!

I am to continue taking Prednisolene for the next 4 weeks as well as MTX and Diclofenac, and we are also going away for a few days, as you suggested and as my Nurse recommended, too.

My husband is very please I contacted this website for help (he now knows about my post to you) and he is so relieved that help and advice is always going to be at hand for both of us.

After I have finished this post I'm off to prepare a great Sunday roast for him, with all the trimmings. All he has to do today is keep the sofa warm and make sure the television is working - oh, and also make sure the paper was printed properly - it will be my great pleasure to bring him as many cups of tea (or something a little more interesting) as he likes.

Once again, thank you very much for your kind support - I'm so grateful.

Very best wishes...

Ellie

Dear Ceri...

What a lovely post - thank you.

The help, support and kind messages we have received over the last week has been so heart warming. Joining NRAS has been the best thing I've done recently in trying to cope when the disease takes over.

It wonderful to know that you also have such kind and loving support from your husband and, as you say, "best friend".

Best wishes to you both...

Ellie

hi Ellie,

really pleased to hear you sounding so much better now ... and glad the steroid injection has also helped, if they work they do wonders for you.

after i posted to you i was going to suggest planning a few things ahead as i know i had sort of put things on hold so to speak since being diagnosed in June ( apart from our summer holiday ) and just doing the normal mundane things.

we have a 4 night break in April to look forward too and also i booked 2 shows at our Theatre for February and June next year which i love going too.

also going to take the whole family to see the Panto in January which is always a good one.

we have to stay positive, as my wonderful GP always says to me when i am down about it all that this is a controllable condition and i will get sorted.

keep your spirits up.

Suzanne x